Today we come together to celebrate the harvest festival of Thanksgiving. Stories have developed over the years creating feelings of brotherhood and good will between the pilgrims and Native Americans. Most of these stories are inaccurate at best, and serve to ignore a long oppressive history of atrocities. Many continue to feel the pain of our ancestors, who suffered from the hands of colonial immigrants who celebrated their thanksgivings by theft of indigenous lands and the genocide of Native peoples.
Presently, what we are witnessing at Standing Rock, as well as the nazism, racism, xenophobia, homophobia, mysogyny, and environmental abuse is a resonating shadow of the past that is a deep rooted forgotten nature of truth. An ignorance bread by supremacy and greed. The collective subconscious bubbling into the conscious.
You would think that after all these years, America would have awakened from its slumber around the issues of human rights and environmental exploitation. How is it, that still in this day in age we continue to witness such vile and selfish acts towards others, towards God’s amazing creation? Through awareness, present moment mindfulness practices, we come to understand that these stories live within us, for the present is made of the past and is creating the future. We have all been the victim and perpetrator, led on by the misconceptions of the mind that have created an imbalance with the divine. Each of us born into narratives that our epigenetic makeup consist of, and into a world where spirituality was striped from culture for powers sake.
As a child, I secretly mourned for the loss of stories, dance, and a deeper connection with nature. Church always felt confined and the expansive beauty of nature felt like the true place of worship. I sometimes felt confused and out of place in my small hometown in the south, and other times it felt surreal and blissful running through the woods, or playing in the mud and swimming in the river. I heard the word “Nigger” many times from older white men, and it made no sense to me as to why we saw one another as different. Or why “they” had a separate part of town called “Nigger town”. To me the joy and laughter of the black skinned people felt contagious and lively.
There was a great gratitude and happiness that lived within me as a child, but also a deep sadness and anger in which I felt ostracized and out of place. A feeling I could never understand quite fully until I began my spiritual quest to explore my inner knowing and relationship to everything around me.
As for my lineage, I am a mutt like most Americans. A little English, Scottish, and Native American. My mother’s father’s grandmother was a full-blooded Cherokee Indian. As a child and to this day, I still think of her often. I have very little story of my ancestors that were passed onto me, all I know is what I’ve discovered from within. Many stories verified by the same discoveries of others from within who are within my scope of friendship in recent years. Including public historical records, native american bi-laws, and the list goes on. Several of these stories include a sorted past of Native American exploitation, pillaging, and genocide by colonialist.
Two years ago, I began experiencing headaches and a fogginess that felt intense and emotionally painful. It had been there for months, forming a tighter and tighter grip as time went on. It was difficult to go into by myself, as it was a whirling and dense energy. In a Depth Hypnosis training I brought this up in circle. I began to describe the energy, what came out of my mouth was not what I had examined before in my conscious or subconscious experience in relation to my children, however it had appeared in other facets of experience such as the environment and human rights issues. I attributed it to a fear and a feeling of having to protect my oldest daughter from my youngest, which sounded absurd because she was only two at the time.
As I was led into the emotional belief of having to protect, I came into a dark place where an old native woman in a simple white gown was crouched in a ball. I sat observing, eventually I merged into her energetic field. I could feel her deep loss and mourning. As I did the entire landscape opened up into a forest of spirit beings trapped in a story of betrayal and tragic massacre. A young someone within the tribe had befriended a colonial who desired precious and powerfully sacred tools that the medicine people carried, which then lead to a brutal massacre of the entire tribe. I sobbed, and as my tears fell, the light began to open into a greater awareness of this dimension. Spirits began to awaken and go into the rainbow light, natives of all ages, releasing and healing an ancient story that lived within me, within us, within the matrix of collective consciousness. When I came back into present awareness, I immediately noticed the tight band of energy had completely disappeared, and has never came back.
The next day I was back at home with my family. I was on the phone with my father. My youngest daughter, Anzi told my father who had left the phone for a moment, “Papa? You, Gigi, momma, daddy, grandmother and grandfather need to save me.” When my father came back to the phone to continue our conversation, I told him we needed to go. After hanging up the phone I inquired to Anzi, "what is it we need to save you from?".
She said, “Momma, I did something very bad long ago.”
“It’s okay honey, we all have. What is it you feel you did?”, I replied.
“I took something momma and I don’t remember, but I hurt.”
She began to pout and in a sullenness, hung her head, "I can't remember momma."
I took her over to the bed and began to do energy work on her, what is commonly known as a power retrieval. Within seconds of the retrieval completion, she told me…
"Long ago, grandma and grandpa taught me to fight, and ma and pa hit and pinched me. I turned mad. I stole something and gave to bad men. They caped me, then we came and killed.” Caping I later found out, was a french revolutionary term to describe the skinning of an animal from head to toe, and ceremonial giving it to an indigenous native in honor and friendship. She hung her head down and cried, "We killed and killed momma. I'm so sorry."
We then began to bring compassion, forgiveness and love back into her heart, and a deep understanding that this is an old story that has been living within her, within us. A story, an illusion, a belief that no longer needs to be carried. The belief that "I" need to protect, or that "she" did something bad, is not the truth, but a heavy stone that has now been laid to rest to merge back into the river. The present has been given to us, a beautiful gift to come into greater Love.
May Anzi and I's gift of experience be a sounding board to our connection with one another. All the suffering in the world that makes us cringe is a mirror of the past that was never healed in the hearts of so many, another opportunity to make a better choice. Ripples building into tidal waves. All layers of anger, fear, ignorance and an inability to forgive. Magnetizing heavy moments stuck in time that have been held tightly, hidden, ignored and festering within the consciousness of many, projecting out into the collective experience.
The most valuable offering we can do for ourselves, others and the future is to fall back into remembrance, turning into the temple of your own heart, healing not only an individual past, but a collective experience. As my dear teacher and friend, Shaman Angaangaq says, we begin to “melt the ice in the heart of man”, creating a continuum of change within that effects those around you, as well as the stories of the past and future.
This Thanksgiving, I send my love to you and to all beings in body and spirit. I pray that all which is surfacing within our nation and world, is a universal forceful push into a collective awakening, and a new way of living in beauty. A purging of the atrocities of the past that is propelling us into a great love affair of unity and balance with Great Spirit, Mother Earth and one another. I pray that the hearts and minds of those who are filled with misunderstanding be overcome with unshakable clarity and truth for the love that exist all around and within us. I pray for strength and courage for each one of us to face what is deepest within us, melting the anger and fear into forgiveness, compassion, courage, joy, and gratitude. May we allow our Love and Light to shine throughout.
Thank you Great Spirit, Thank you Mother Earth. Thank you friends and family. I feel and see your beauty, and I am so eternally grateful.
Hopi Prayer for Peace "Great Spirit and all unseen, this day we pray and ask You for guidance, humbly we ask You to help us and fellow men to have recourse to peaceful ways of life, because of uncontrolled deceitfulness by human- kind. Help us all to love, not hate one another. We ask you to be seen in an image of Love and Peace. Let us be seen in beauty, the colors of the rainbow. We respect our Mother, the planet, with our loving care, for from Her breast we receive our nourishment. Let us not listen to the voices of the two-hearted, the destroyers of mind, the haters and self-made leaders, whose lusts for power and wealth will lead us into confusion and darkness. Seek visions always of world beauty, not violence nor battlefields. It is our duty to pray always for harmony between man and earth, so that the earth will bloom once more. Let us show our emblem of love and goodwill for all life and land. Pray for the House of Glass, for within it are minds clear and pure as ice and mountain streams. Pray for the great leaders of nations in the House of Mica who in their own quiet ways help the earth in balance. We pray the Great Spirit that one day our Mother Earth will be purified into a healthy peaceful one. Let us sing for strength of wisdom with all nations for the good of all people. Our hope is not yet lost, purification must be to restore the health of our Mother Earth for lasting peace and happiness. Techqua Ikachi - for Land and Life!"