The Reason Children Are Killing Children

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Denver has been grief struck once again by recent school shootings, attempts and lock downs. 
A recent CNN article states that America has had 288 school shootings since 2009, a statistic unlike any other country in the world.

I have had the pleasure to work with a vast array of populations and ages of people throughout my 30 years. I’ve heard so many stories, a wide scope of diverse experiences from poverty stricken homeless mothers, refugees, gang violence, high risk youth in foster homes/institutions, LGBT, Veterans, to wealthy business owners and middle class of all ages from babies to ninety years of age.

Which brings me to this:

THE PROBLEM

What we are dealing with is not just loose gun laws, but is the repercussion of attachment and acceptance issues.

When we have children killing children, they are holding up a mirror saying “I want to harm myself because my child self is wounded, lonely, angry and scared. I didn’t and haven’t received the nourishment, connection, attachment I need now, and needed as a child.” Such actions are a shout out to be seen and known, no matter the consequence.

As for attachment, we are the only culture that takes the baby away from mother at birth, puts gel in their eyes which impedes vision and attachment to mother. Our corporate medical institutions supported an anti- breast feeding movement to increase sales of formula, which not only effects attachment to mother, but creates imbalance in the micro-biome of the gut that can increase physical and mental dis-ease. The breast milk is so important to the health of the child and the skin to skin connection is vital to the emotional security. All exacerbated by high sugar processed, genetically modified foods and psychotropic drugs.

We are also the only culture that puts our babies in another room to sleep, with methods of sleep training that support the baby to cry itself to slumber. Further creating non-attachment from mother and father, feeding feelings of insecurity. I see these effects in age ranges from 14-80 year old clients every week. All craving a closer connection with parents who were equally wounded, passing on ancestral wounds.

Secondly, we are a culture that wants to conform, look and hide differences away. Homelessness, disability, homosexuality is uncomfortable and an “embarrassment”. Meanwhile, ethnic differences are unwelcome. All equates and breeds non-acceptance and lack of compassion and connection to all beings- human, animal, mineral and plant.

Thirdly, placing emphasis on the importance of community, creativity, imagination and play in nature is so vital in a world that is becoming more and more secluded due to Infrastructure and screen time that promotes dissociation, and a corporate televised message that condones violence and non-acceptance. Combined with a colluded education system that has lost touch in the support of teachers, and the heart and wisdom of the child.

WHERE DO WE BEGIN?

It starts with each one of us learning to Re-mother ourselves, so we can nurture the present. Moving forward often means revisiting the past. What works, what doesn’t? What needs to be forgiven and let go of?

We have to learn how to “carry your own cross”, and our children need us as mentors to exemplify that very action. How to forgive, listen, be honest, open, accountable, accepting of all, and compassionate in the midst of all our uncomfortableness. Not looking away and hiding from the pain we hold within and that which exist in the world, but mirroring to our children the love and bravery we wish to see and experience in our familial unit, community and the world.

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TRIGGERED? I send you love and a message that whatever triggers you, is a sign that there is “mothering” to do, healing to be had.

If you are ready to breathe love into those places, I’m hear to help.



LOVE+TRUTH+ MAGIC,

Kari

Kari Rivers