Coming Back to Yourself: the Practice of Forgiveness

I honestly have had moments where I witness my highest self asking for a test, a test to see if I can forgive. Meanwhile my Ego, is like, “yeah you got this”. Then, another part of myself is screaming “NO!!!”. Thus, without a doubt Source escorts these situations to me, proving the spiritual adage that we get exactly what we ask for. And what we ask for, whether good or bad, is coming from that place that knows we can handle it and is fully ready and willing for an upgrade.

Why does this happen? I guess it’s the part of me that wants to see where I’m holding on. Forgiveness is central and mandatory. Our inability to forgive creates bondage. It creates energetic chains that bind us to one another. In Matthew 18:21-22, Jesus tells Peter to forgive not just seven times, but "seventy times seven", which is the number of divine alignment and personal transformation.

Soon after I witnessed an aspect of me asking for a test per-say, I went through a difficult experience where I felt very hurt by a friend I cherished. It was not an experience that occurred once. I realized it was a repeated and slowly accumulative experience that became undeniable. It was unbearable what I felt. Not only because it was a friend I’d thought I’d grow old with and create with, from someone many respect, but because it was very much a part of the pattern of sisterhood wounds I first experienced when I was in third grade that I have traced throughout time, back into the originality of the wound. I thought I had moved past it all. Then all of a sudden it all came back to me. Such is the path of peri and menopause. I have come to notice that as we enter new phase of life, our sanskara patterns can return helping us to see with even more clarity, and rise into higher levels of awareness.

I remember praying to God to please help me see clearly, to help me let go of the intensity, all of the hurt, anger and frustration of betrayal I felt. Then suddenly it all disappeared. POOF, Vanished, all within a blink of any eye. Literally! It wasn’t there. One moment the suffering and hurt was there, Then another moment it was not. It was so wild!

I was shown the pure illusion of it all. A moment to feel the nothingness. The pure insanity of it all. However, within 15 minutes the heavy weight of it all came pouring in. Poof! There it was again. I knew I had to come into my own forgiveness.

This is what I did.

My hope is that you will find something beautiful from this musing that supports you in your journey.

“Forgiveness is the best charity"- Meher Baba

Dear One,

Here you are within another moment, where life invites you to choose. You can hold on, or you can soften. You can resist, or you can grow. Even in the discomfort, there is an opening, and an opportunity to return to yourself and move forward with more awareness, truth, and freedom.

Everything begins with honesty.

Be real about what you feel. Not what you think you should feel, not what looks strong or composed, but what is actually there. Fear, anger, grief, confusion, even hope. When you stop trying to rise above your humanity and instead meet it fully, something shifts. That honesty becomes a doorway into clarity, into deeper self-trust, and to the guidance that’s already within you.

1.Before you react, PAUSE.

Place your hand on your heart.

Take one intentional breath. Let your body catch up with the moment.

Ask yourself what feels true. This simple act brings you out of old patterns and back into alignment. It becomes your compass, especially when emotions are high.

2. Support yourself energetically.

Imagine your body surrounded by a warm, golden light. Let it wrap around you, steady you, and create space between you and what isn’t yours to carry. Whether you see it as spiritual or simply grounding, the effect is the same. You begin to feel held, clearer, and less entangled.

Turn inward for guidance.

And begin where you are.

3. Acknowledge the pain.

Notice where it lives in your body.

What does it feel like? If it had a voice, what would it say? Sometimes what we’re feeling isn’t just about the present experience, it’s a much different but familiar pattern resurfacing, asking to be fully processed this time, so it can be fully released.

Write down the emotion, the belief that comes with this experience.

Is there a time in which you have felt this before? Write down all the moments throughout your life you have felt this way before.

Optional: Listen to this Channeled Vocal Forgiveness Cry

Let this inspire you to release and let go. Let the waters and wind move you into newness. Move your body as you like in this. Or lie down and fully surrender. Be open to the magic.

(Suggested to use headphones that cover your ears. Allow yourself to be fully in this. After please give yourself a moment to express what wants to come out of your own vocal expression. Don’t skip this part. It’s very important to transmute the energy and allow the part of you that feels hurt to release and be heard.)

4. Meet that part of yourself with compassion.

Close your eyes and imagine yourself in front of you. See clearly what you’re carrying and what it represents. Meet this part of you with unprecedented love and compassion.

5. Ask for what this part of you needs.

Maybe it is comfort, expression, connection, a specific action. Allow yourself to give and receive whatever your hurt self needs.

Say a prayer for assistance, to see clearly.

6. Call Upon Your Highest Self.

What does your wise self want to say to the part of yourself that feels betrayed?

What perceptions (beliefs) and projections (biases, emotions, expectations) are playing out in this experience that are patterns of the past?

Allow these parts of you to have a conversation. You can even journal the conversation between the two parts of you.

If you have been betrayed by another person…

Bring to mind the person involved (even if it’s you). Not to excuse, but to understand. What might they have been operating from? What pain or limitation shaped their actions?

Perspective doesn’t erase accountability, but it softens the grip of resentment.

7.Zoom Out & Hover Above It All.

Seek higher perspective, and merge with the part of you that sees more clearly.

Look at the situation from a higher vantage point.

We cannot meet a problem from the same level in which it was created. We have to rise above it to see it clearly.

Ask:

What am I not seeing?

What matters most right now?

What would my most grounded, loving self choose?

What lesson is here?

What strength or clarity is this experience asking me to develop?

What can I take from this that actually moves my life forward into a positive, more aligned and intentional way?

The more you practice this, the less you depend on external validation and the more you trust your own inner knowing.

Pay attention to what brings you back to yourself.

Notice what makes you feel open, genuine and alive. Your natural state isn’t heavy and contracted. It is engaged, creative, and connected. Let that be your signal. Move toward what nourishes that feeling, and gently step away from what dims it.

And from this place, we slowly arrive to forgiveness. Which is sometimes a process, a process we return to time and time again, until one day we find that we have truly let go and forgiven ourself and other. For Forgiveness is not passive, and it isn’t easy. It asks each of us to release the weight of resentment, not because what happened was acceptable, but because you no longer want to carry it. It is a decision to stop reliving the same emotional patterns and to reclaim your energy.

If we don’t forgive, we stay bound to the story, the emotions, and the cycle itself. Anger, guilt, betrayal, shame. It keep repeating until we’re willing to see things differently. Forgiveness interrupts that loop. It creates space for something new.

8.Remember…

a.Life is truly an illusion. Learn to see through it.

What are your perceptions (beliefs about your life) and projections (biases, emotions, expectations)? Can you see this playing out in your life?

b. Forgiveness is a process. Sometimes gradual, sometimes layered. But each moment you choose to loosen your grip, you reclaim more of your peace.

And part of that process is clarity.

c. You’re allowed to set boundaries. You’re allowed to outgrow people, dynamics, and environments. Forgiveness doesn’t mean continued access, it means freedom from the emotional weight. You can release someone and still choose a different path for yourself. You can still love, without being in someone’s immediate world.

d. Your command is powerful and important.

e. What you choose changes everything.

9.Vocalize Your Intention

I command all illusions of betrayal to unwind their energetic binds and coils of anger, frustration, sadness hurt and resentment.

I choose to release what no longer serves me. I choose to move forward with clarity and strength.

I ask that all heartache and hardship move me into the highest Divine Will, for the highest good of all.

I choose freedom and forgiveness. I choose Peace.

Visualize all beings that have been a part of this story in front of you and say…
I love you. I’m sorry. I forgive you. Please forgive me. Thank you.

You can put this into your own words, but whatever you do return to it daily and vocalize whatever you need to say outloud. As many times as you need. Over time, something begins to shift.

You feel lighter. Clearer. More present. And more connected, not just to others, but to yourself.

When you learn to listen this way, to feel honestly, to pause, to reflect, and to forgive, you become available to your own guidance. And from there, your life starts to move in a very different direction.

As For My Story…

I choose to take the path of forgiveness. I choose to look at the situation as an opportunity to forge a new path. In this I found a beautiful new opportunity that I would otherwise not have found. While I will always love my friend and see her from her highest self, I realize that sometimes we outgrow one another. I celebrate her wins and see her insecurity. I see her younger self finally getting all that she has wanted and desired. I wish her well on her path, knowing that we are always One.

In letting go, I allow something new to grow and take place. I see what no longer aligns. I release control and relinquish my ego, placing this situation into the Heart of One. I trust the Divine in all things large and small. I invite in the fullness of relationships that feel supportive, inclusive, spiritually aligned, honest, heart nurturing and abundant.

Eternal Love Wins.

Whatever you are navigating, I hope that you find peace and contentment Today, tomorrow and forever.

Love,

Kari Rivers